Don’t Let Your Self-Doubt Stop You

Self-doubt kills.

It kills ideas, initiatives, and offerings. It kills motivation.

More than anything else, self-doubt slows down what you want to do and what you can do.

I know you understand what I’m talking about.

Self-doubt is my biggest challenge. I know it’s a big issue for all of my clients.

I’ve delayed or stalled on offering new programs to clients just because I doubted that it was good, doubted that it would sell, doubted that I’d be able to deliver it well. The list goes on.

And my clients have done the same, putting a cork in that genie bottle of creativity.

So it makes sense to wipe self-doubt out. Eliminate it. Send it so far away it’ll never come back. Right?

Unfortunately, no.

Self-doubt, as destructive as it can be, is a part of you. It’s a part of me.

Instead of trying to send this serial killer off to jail or some other purgatory, you can rehabilitate it. Transform it, into something that works for you instead of against you.

I know. Sounds ridiculous when you’re in the throes of a full-blown self-doubt-athon. Ironically, that’s the time when rehab really makes sense.

Self-doubt serves a purpose. Just like any other thoughts that are coming up while you’re developing new ideas, offering something new, delivering your product or service. It’s trying to tell you something.

So what’s the message?

That’s up to you to find out, to open up to. And that’s tough to do when you’re being assailed with negative messages about your abilities, or even about who you are as a person.

Instead of trying to clam up this annoying chatterbox, ask it what it wants. No demands. Ask out of curiosity. Then listen for the response.

You may be surprised what pops up in your mind.

“I’d feel better if you knew more about this before I put it out there.”
“Are you kidding? Nobody’s going to show up.”
“Are you sure this is the right timing?”
“Remember that episode where you tried kayaking with Uncle Jasper and almost got run down by a tanker?”

Old, seemingly unrelated, unresolved events may pop up. Separating out ancient history from what’s happening in the present is part of the process of addressing your self-doubt compassionately.

This is probably one of the biggest challenges you’ll face in your business: dealing compassionately with your self-doubt. Everything you do is affected by it.

The temptation to smack it down can be overwhelming. The thing is, responding with trying to squash it (which never works) only feeds the self-doubt.

Bring out your compassionate self, and you’ll find your self-doubt melting in the warmth of that gooey love. Even self-doubt, that scared part of you, wants to be loved.

Give it some love, and you’ll see it decrease in intensity, and even offer you some useful information.

Then you can go on and do what you want to do. You can do what calls you.

Self-doubt doesn’t have to stop you. Don’t let it – love it up instead.

 

A healthy and productive mindset feeds your business success. To get that kind of nourishment, talk with Ursula about coaching by scheduling an appointment here.

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Here’s your Alchemy Assignment, your chance to transform what you learned in this article into awareness and action for you and your business:

It can help to create a visual image around your self-doubt, for two reasons. One, it helps you separate it out from you as a whole (you are not your self-doubt!). Two, you can start to relate to it with more compassion. I’ve used the image of a lizard (for the reptilian part of our brains) named Stella. Stella is pink, and sits on my shoulder, shrieking with all kinds of fearful messages when in the throes of self-doubt. When I treat Stella with compassion, by speaking to her kindly or putting her in my lap, she calms down and the fearful messages diminish. When this works really well, she’s parked in a beach chair wearing sunglasses and sipping an umbrella drink, and uttering not a word. Play with your own imagery, and create a persona that works well for you!